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Writer's pictureMarquita Moore-Raynor

Thinking About Adopting: Here Are 3 Things To Consider

Over the last few years, I created a YouTube channel, shared our first adoption story, and spoke candidly about my adoption experience. When I decided to pursue a "stork drop" opportunity almost six years ago, I didn't realize how unprepared my husband and I were to face the challenges that would come later on. 

 

Choosing the path of adoption requires preparation. It is essential to understand that although adoption is beautiful, adoption is a journey, a life-changing journey filled with love, heartache, pain, and joy.

Before you decide to adopt, here are three critical things you should know:

 

1. Adoption is Not a “Quick Fix” for Infertility:

If biology matters to you, adoption isn't the answer to your infertility struggles. So, while adoption can be an incredible way to grow your family, it is not a substitute for healing the emotional pain that can come with infertility. Adoption is a process full of challenges and rewards and requires a mindset of openness and readiness. An adoption journey, like a fertility journey, can be expensive and full of risks. Embrace the journey, but be sure your heart has processed any unresolved grief. Work through your issues, trauma, and grief before adopting a child to fill a void in your life. It is essential to fully commit to ADOPTION before starting the adoption process.


2. Expect Emotional Complexity: Adoption SHOULD involve a network of relationships: yours, your future child’s, and the birth families. The adoption triad. I say "should" because I advocate for open adoption!

The emotional landscape of an open adoption is layered. From bonding with your child to honoring AND protecting their birth story, there will be times of celebration and moments that require patience and grace. A lot of grace.

Understanding that adoption carries emotional weight helps prepare you for a lifelong journey, not just an event. You are a parent. As adoptive parents, there will be moments of doubt and struggles we face unique to being adoptive parents. Find a community of adoptive families who understand you and your path.


3. The Adoption Process Takes Time and Patience:

I'll repeat it: adoption isn't a quick fix.

Domestic adoption isn’t instantaneous.

For a moment, stop and think about what domestic adoption is. A courageous woman is taking her time to create an adoption plan for her child and is hoping she will find the right family. 

So, from home study to potential matches and waiting periods, the process can be lengthy and uncertain. At the same time, you are questioning, "Will this ever happen? " or "How much longer do I have to wait? " a mother is asking herself, "Why me? Why don't I have what my baby needs?" Or "Where is my support system? Why do I have to consider adoption?". PERSPECTIVE is so essential! Every step, while sometimes overwhelming, has a purpose. You cannot rush the adoption process. 

Patience, empathy, kindness, and flexibility are key.

 

Adoption is complicated, beautiful, and messy; it's a complex love. I have two beautiful brilliant babies who call me Mommy because of adoption. Being an adoptive parent carries its own set of hurdles that I get to embrace. It has changed my life in so many beautiful ways. Because of adoption, I am a mother, and I get to help families just like yours pursue their adoption journey. 

I am beyond thankful for every lesson I've learned and continue to learn every day. 

 

If you're ready to dive deeper into the adoption world, I invite you to explore the heartfelt stories of birth mothers on my YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/khandybryant

 

Adoption is not for the faint of heart. It takes faith, grit, perseverance, and trust. 

If you feel like now is the time to start your adoption journey, I would love to help. 

Visit MK Adoption Services http://www.mkadoptionservices.com to learn more about our premium services and schedule a complimentary consultation today.

 

With Love,

Khandy

 

 

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